The Nanny: A Single Dad Romance Page 20

  I looked into her eyes, disbelief warring with joy in my heart. “Jackie!” I laughed aloud. “That’s nothing. How can you ask me for forgiveness? I’d ask you, except I know I don’t deserve it. I was such an ass.”

  She laughed. “Kind of. But I do forgive you, Scott. I am just so glad you’re here.”

  I sighed. That was the sweetest thing I ever heard. I drew her into my arms.

  “I am so glad I’m here too, sweetheart. So, so glad. I can’t tell you how happy you made me today. Impossibly happy.” I laughed.

  It was only when she looked up at me with those big gray eyes so gentle and caring that I realized that was the first time I had actually called someone sweetheart.

  “Oh, Scott.”

  We stood where we were on the pavement in front of the store, beside her VW Golf. I could see Stella on the back seat, asleep again. I wanted to look at her forever, fill my eyes with the sight of my baby daughter.

  She will want for nothing. I will keep her safe. Fill her life with everything she could ever need.

  I was surprised by the breadth and strength of how I felt. At that moment, I would die without a second thought for that small, beautiful human being. I would do anything, without thinking about it. She was the most precious being.

  She and Jackie both.

  “Jackie,” I said cautiously.

  “Mm?” she looked up at me and this time her gray eyes were gentle and warm. I felt my heart flip over as I looked into her gentle face.

  “I can’t just go away. I need to talk. Can we go home and talk now? Please?”

  She smiled at me. “Okay.”

  It was a Saturday, which meant I could go back with them. I was so pleased. I smiled at her.

  “Let me just move my car, quickly. It’s probably better if we go in yours.”

  She laughed. Pulled a face at me. “Don’t be so sure. You’ve never seen me drive. And you probably don’t know much about the VW Golf. Mister fancy pants.”

  I roared with laughter. I missed her so much. “Thanks,” I said wryly. “But let’s take your car. It will be a new experience.”

  I went across to my car and moved it into a real parking place. It was difficult. I couldn’t bear not being with them now that I’d found them again. My daughter. Jackie.

  I jumped out of the car, pressed the button to lock and ran to them. Jackie was standing where I’d left her, a soft smile on her face. She turned when she heard me coming.

  “Let’s go,” I said enthusiastically. She smiled.

  “Okay,” she cleared her throat, authoritative. “Hop in. I’ll drive.”

  I slid into the passenger seat and looked sideways at her. She was grinning wildly, her face flushed and happy. She fiddled with the ignition, balanced her foot on the gas and played it, coaxing the engine to start. Then she headed out into the street.

  I couldn’t help glancing back at Stella as we endured the bumpy, bad-suspension ride back to her apartment block. The baby seemed oblivious to the jolts and foibles of the car and slept blissfully on. Jackie was laughing.

  “What?” I said.

  “Relax!” she said, grinning at me. “Last person I saw sitting so uncomfortably had a rod up his ass. Sorry,” she added, shaking her head and closing her eyes; pained. “I have no manners. Did I mention that fact to you earlier?”

  I laughed. “I love your manners just the way they are,” I said, before I’d really thought it through. We both stopped and looked at each other then, aware suddenly of the moment of what I’d just said. I did love her.

  I think I always had.

  I smiled at her and she smiled back. Her hand moved from the steering wheel to my knee and I bit my lip, wincing as scalding blood poured through my veins and to my loins, making me gasp. I had forgotten how easily she could make me want her. I looked out of the window, trying to concentrate on something other than how close by she was.

  “Here we are.”

  She stopped the car and got out. I followed. Together we went around to the back and slid the seat out with Stella still sleeping in it. She opened her eyes just then and saw us. Her sleepy expression changed from bliss to surprise and then to sadness. She wailed.

  I couldn’t bear it. I looked at Jackie. She smiled.

  “She’s hungry,” she said succinctly. “There, there. It’s okay. Rockabye, bay-be…”

  She sang the lullaby in a flat monotone as we went through to the hallway where, months before, I had kissed her. I felt my heart tighten on those memories as I followed her into the lift. This was so surreal. With all the memories of the past, as if they’d been yesterday, it was clear nine months had past. Almost ten months, in fact. We had a baby with us.

  “There, there,” Jackie was saying as Stella fretted. “It’s okay. Almost there.”

  “Can I hold her?” I asked. I was half-afraid to do it. What if I messed up? What if I didn’t know what to do? If she was distressed and started screaming, the way I had heard some babies do before? All the same, she was my daughter. I couldn’t not help Jackie out. She had done nine months alone.

  “Okay,” she said. “Here. You have to support her, like this. Put your hand under her head, so…” She positioned my hands, her own long-fingered, pale, and firm. I felt the sweet weight of the baby in my arms. I swallowed.

  “Hello, Stella,” I said quietly. “Hello, beautiful, beautiful girl.”

  She blinked. The sound of a new voice seemed to confuse her for a moment. She stopped crying. Jackie looked at me and grinned.

  “Magic. I wish I had you around more often, I tell you. It would be so much easier…” she trailed off. I blinked.

  “Jackie,” I said softly. “I want that too. You and Stella are everything to me.”

  “I don’t want anything from you,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean for you to know. I don’t want…” she trailed off, sighing. “I’m not the kind of person who likes to chain people. If I thought you felt obligated to stay with me, I’d leave. You don’t owe me care.”

  I sighed. “Jackie.”

  I followed her into the apartment. She had gone from sad and then angry to busy. She was putting down the cot, hanging up her coat, setting her keys by the door. She was angry with me and trying not to show it.

  “Jackie?” I said. I was still holding Stella, who was starting to get uncomfortable. She wriggled and made a little noise, as if distressed. I made shushing noises and tried to comfort her.

  “What?” Jackie snapped as she came to take her daughter from me.

  “I don’t feel obligated,” I said softly. “I care about you. I love you.”

  She stared at me. Her face softened in an instant. She didn’t say anything. Didn’t do anything. Just looked into my eyes.

  She mumbled something and took Stella from my grip. I drew a breath to speak.

  “Sorry?” I asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Jackie…” I said gently.

  “I said, I love you too.”

  She said it in a rush, then looked up at me. Her gray eyes cleared, seeing the expression in my own. I couldn’t be sure what that was, except that if it matched the feeling in my heart it must have been glowing like a furnace.

  “Jackie,” I whispered. “Oh, Jackie.”

  I tried to hug both of them together, but I didn’t want to hurt Stella, so I resorted to putting my arm around Jackie’s shoulders, kissing Stella’s soft hair.

  The baby made a few fretful sounds, then started to cry again.

  “Hell, she really is hungry. Excuse me, Scott.”

  She took the baby and sat down in the chair. Unbuttoned her shirt and fed her. I was speechless.

  I was standing in an apartment across town, watching my daughter be fed by the most wonderful, most amazing woman I had met. Who was also her mother.

  I shook my head.

  “How can I be so lucky?” I whispered. She smiled at me. Stella was getting drowsy and she whispered, not to wake her.

  “I’m no
t sure if you’re lucky, dear. But I know I am. I am.”

  I felt her words brush down my spine like tendrils of gooseflesh. She had never called me dear before. I smiled.

  “Well, sweetheart, I am lucky. Extremely lucky. The luckiest man on earth.”

  I meant it. I really was. I had a family! At that moment, nothing else mattered. What this would mean to my future, to the present, to my parents…none of that occurred to me. This was my moment: mine, Jackie’s and Stella’s. We had just met, finally. And we were in love. All of us. Whatever happened next would grow out of that.

  Which meant it had to be a good thing, I reckoned, coming and sitting beside Jackie, my arms wrapped round her, holding her close as I looked down into the face of my sleeping daughter. Anything that came out of such a happy time couldn’t help but be a happy future.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Jackie

  When I had put Stella in her cot to sleep, I turned to face Scott. He was waiting behind me, an expression of such melting tenderness on his face that I caught my breath.

  “She’ll sleep now, I think,” I said softly. “We’ll just have to talk quietly.”

  “Yes.”

  He leaned in closer and I felt my heart begin to pound. It didn’t seem possible that I hadn’t seen him for ten months. My body remembered him as if that one night was yesterday. I shivered as his lips moved to touch mine.

  As they had done when we first met, his lips slid over mine softly, a gentle touch like a stroke. He was stroking my back as he kissed me and I leaned against him, feeling his warm, strong arms tighten around me and hold me close.

  Whatever was on his mind, talking was only part of it, clearly. Which was no bad thing, I thought with a shaky breath. It was only part of what was on my mind too.

  “Scott.” I whispered his name as he moved back. He looked into my eyes. His own were shining.

  “Jackie.”

  We looked at each other for a long moment. My heart was warm with feeling. I had never seen the expression like the one he had now, on anyone else before. He was looking at me with love. I sighed and snuggled into his arms. Reached up to kiss him again.

  His tongue glided across the line between my lips, playing along it slowly in a teasing, gentle way that made my blood smolder and my groin ache. I stroked his head, loving the soft feeling of his chestnut hair under my fingertips.

  “Jackie,” he whispered. “Would you let me?”

  “Yes,” I said. Yes, I would.

  He smiled. He looked happy and that made me happy too. “Thank you,” he said.

  I snorted. “Well, we’ll see about that.” I turned and went into my bedroom. As I had hoped, he followed. He fiercely embraced me, leaning back against the door. I gasped and he pressed his lips to mine, his tongue thrust right into my mouth, probing me. I shivered.

  I could feel the big, hard manhood I had come to appreciate on our last encounter probing up against my waist. I leaned against it, rubbing my body on his. He growled.

  “I want you so much, Jackie.”

  I smiled. “Well, then.”

  I reached up and started to undress him. He blinked, surprised, and I laughed. “Need I say more? I want you too. Now come on.”

  I wasn’t sure what it was that had ignited this new boldness inside of me, but I felt bold. I kissed him and he sat down heavily on the bed and then drew me into his arms. I sighed and pressed my body against him.

  My hands were deft at undressing him and soon I was drawing his blazer down his arms, undoing his tie, moving his shirt back. He laughed.

  “Hell, Jackie. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but…” he breathed, his eyes open wide.

  “Nor do I. Maybe you’d better ask Santa.”

  “Santa?” he laughed aloud. “Why?”

  “Because apparently you’ve been a very bad boy this year.”

  I pushed him back onto the bed and he laughed aloud. I straddled him and he looked into my eyes with a mix of wonder and trust. It made my throat hurt. I felt his hands reach up to my shirt and tug at it and I let him undress me with a tender urgency.

  He stayed where he was, beneath me. We were both half dressed. He reached for one of my breasts and teased the nipple with his hand while I ran my fingers over that magnificent chest.

  “You are stunning,” I whispered to him. He laughed.

  “I should tell you every single day how stunning you are,” he said throatily. “Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to suck those breasts.”

  I laughed. When he took my nipple between his lips and sucked, my body caught fire with all sorts of sensations. None of them were maternal.

  Then he was sitting up and his hands were unfastening my trousers as I undid the button of his.

  ***

  I was aching with longing beyond anything I had ever known as I lay Jackie down on the bed. I looked at her stunning, beautiful body with awe. This was the woman I wanted. This was the woman I would always want.

  I kissed her neck and then turned her over. She made a little sound of inquiry.

  “Can you trust me?”

  She chuckled. “It depends.”

  All the same, she let me roll her over onto her tummy. I looked at her back, with the sweet round buttocks all pink and inviting. I wanted to squeeze them but I fought for self-control.

  “I want to spoil you,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if I could, mind: I had received loads of massage over the years, but had not actually given one. I found a tube of body lotion on her bedside table, rubbed it between my hands to warm it and rubbed it into her back.

  She sighed. I took the noise to be approval and continued. It was nice to feel her back under my hands, her muscles hard and tense and as I worked on them, easing and relaxing.

  “Mmm.” She moaned as I worked on her shoulders, and I wished I could spend forever doing just this. Rubbing her, touching her, pleasing her. Every noise she made sent shivers through me and made me want more.

  I moved down to her butt. I resisted the urge to squeeze the firm, round shapes, working on massaging the muscle there too. I could smell her warm, musky scent and I wanted to bury my face between her thighs and move my tongue over those smooth, wet folds. But I didn’t.

  I massaged her legs and her feet and then worked back up again, doing her arms and hands and finally her neck. I think she was sleeping by the end of it.

  “Jackie?” I licked the small, dark earhole. She turned, a smile on her lips.

  “That was wonderful.”

  I smiled and we kissed. “Thank you,” I said modestly. She laughed.

  “Well, then,” she rolled onto her back, taking my breath away with her beauty and making me want to kiss her all over here too. “I think you might have made me sleepy.”

  “Very sleepy?” I asked, teasing. “How sleepy?”

  “Very sleepy,” she said drowsily. “Want to find out?”

  She parted her thighs playfully and I drew in a breath as my finger met her wet folds. She was certainly not tired down there. She was dripping.

  I moved my fingers, sliding in the wetness, and she moaned. I knew her clit would be big and hard and throbbing and the thought made me aware, painfully, of how much I wanted her.

  I looked into her eyes as I took myself in my hand and guided myself into her. She gasped. Closed her eyes and clenched her teeth.

  I pulled out and pushed in again. This was the woman I had longed for. She was tight and wet and she took all of me, my cock throbbing and pulsing uncontrollably as she panted and whimpered and drove me to even greater heights.

  I moved and thrust, moved and thrust and she was moving below me, panting and grimacing and crying out. Finally, she let out a huge cry, her whole body spasming below me. I sighed and let myself move, then. In. Out. In. Out.

  I could feel my own orgasm growing inside me, building and building and then, overwhelmingly, crashing.

  I found myself panting and shaking, helpless with the waves of pleasure that were flowing thr
ough me and around me and across me, drowning every one of my senses and carrying me far beyond myself.

  I lay on her chest and she lay in my arms. My head rested on her chest beside her heart. I could feel it move under my face. I moved up a little, not knowing when I had felt so wonderful. I wasn’t sure if I could have felt this wonderful before.

  Later, I rolled off her and slid out of her. I washed myself and her and then looked at the clock. It was dinnertime.

  “Snooze first, then dinner?” I asked her. She rolled over sleepily and looked into my eyes.

  “That, dear, sounds wonderful.”

  I smiled and nodded and slid into bed beside her. With her head nestled into my neck, my arms holding her and her hand on my chest, I drifted off into sleep.

  I was so happy.

  I had found the woman I loved, and my daughter. I was a father. I could not have ever imagined anything that could have made me happier.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Scott

  I couldn’t quite believe I was waking up next to the woman I loved. I breathed in, savoring the amazing feeling.

  I looked across at Jackie. She was lying on her side, her face relaxed in sleep. Her lips moved, parted gently, as she breathed. I watched her. She looked so peaceful, so innocent, all her cares erased in sleep. I wanted to reach out to touch her soft, fluffy hair.

  As I moved, she woke. Her eyelids fluttered open. She looked into my eyes. She smiled.

  “Good morning,” she whispered. “Nice to see you.”

  I smiled. “Nice to see you too.”

  I felt my breath suck in as she stirred, rolling closer. Her body was warm on mine, her breasts pressing against my chest. I held her close, stroking her back as we lay together. We had been woken twice during the night by Stella, but I had been amazed by how deeply and regularly she slept. I had been expecting to get no sleep, if I thought about it.

  Not that I always think of sleep when Jackie is close.

  I felt my loins tense with longing as she pressed into me and I wanted to take her right there. My cock was throbbing and I was so, so ready. I stroked her and then touched between her legs. She was wet there, wet and warm. I played my fingers between her folds and she moaned.