The Nanny Page 9

  He woke something sleeping inside me I never knew was there. He made me more responsive to his touch and his kiss. He made me want to give in to all the delights I can imagine. He woke the dreams I never wanted to admit to before.

  God, what would I be if I really gave in to him, if I really did it with him? I would explode out of this shell holding me together. I would shatter into a million pieces and become something unrecognizable.

  None of that matters now, because I won’t do it with him. He threw me out, and I’m going. I shake myself awake and head for the door, but before I leave, I look back at Ivy. She lives in a heavenly halo beyond all these foolish cares. She has matters of good and evil to contend with. She doesn’t need to know about these trials of the human heart.

  I go back to my room and slump down on my bed. I just finished unpacking my suitcase, and now I have to do it all over again. I’m not looking forward to it. I’m not looking forward to hearing Parker say “I told you so,” either.

  I should have listened to him in the first place. I should have gotten into the Jag when he first came to see me. If I’m going to become Mrs. Parker Lynch, I’m going to have to learn to follow his lead when he tells me these things. I can’t keep bucking the system.

  I look around the room. The place takes hold of me with its unstoppable gravity. I want to keep sitting here forever and never get up again. I don’t want to pack my suitcase, and I don’t want to leave. All I really want in the world is to kiss Isaac one more time. Why can’t he understand that? Why can’t he see that’s what I really meant when I said “I can’t”?

  I take a deep breath and summon all my strength to get off that bed when a soft knock rattles the door. I jump up, and when I open it, I’m surprised to see Isaac outside.

  He leans one hand against the door jamb. His head hangs down, and when I get the door open, he cranes his head back to train his smoldering eyes on me. He heaves a heavy sigh. “Look, Kira, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that. I don’t want you to leave. I just…shit, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m going out of my mind. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going, and you….well, I guess I got a little carried away. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. You were right. I knew you had a guy on the outside. I shouldn’t have tread on your toes.”

  “You didn’t tread on my toes, Isaac,” I tell him. “I wanted you to kiss me, and I liked it a lot when you did. Maybe I liked it a little too much. That’s the only reason I mentioned Parker. I’m sorry I led you on. I shouldn’t have done that, and if leaving here is the only way to fix it, I’ll do it. I don’t want to leave, but I want what’s best for everybody.”

  He nods down at the floor. He’s hurting. Anybody can see that, and I would give anything to ease his pain if I could.

  He glances up at me. “You’re a nice girl, Kira, too nice for someone like me. I don’t blame you for hating me.”

  “I don’t hate you, Isaac,” I reply. “I care about you, and I want to help you. I don’t want to leave. Ivy needs me, and with Jade hanging around waiting to pounce at any second, you need someone taking care of her who knows what’s what. I can be that for you, but only if you let me.”

  “I want you to,” he exclaims. “Don’t you understand? I want you to more than anything. Today was like something out of a dream for me. I trust you, and I never thought I could ever trust anybody again. I would give anything to have you working here and taking care of Ivy—anything.”

  “I am here,” I point out. “I’m taking care of her, but I can’t do that if you’re forever throwing me out.”

  “I know.” His voice cracks with buried emotion. “Don’t you think I know that? I’m not used to this. I don’t know how to act right. I never let anybody get close to me. I put up my guard against people, and now I don’t know how to take it down again.”

  “Well, you can’t keep taking it out on me,” I tell him. “Every time you blow up at me like that, it hurts. I can’t keep taking these hits and coming back for more.”

  He hangs his head. “I’m trying. Can’t you see I’m trying? I try to say the right thing, and it comes out all wrong.”

  I can’t stand seeing him in torment like this. I want to put my arms around him and sooth him, but I shouldn’t. I belong to Parker. I have to remember that, or…. or I don’t know what will happen.

  He doesn’t look at me again. He turns away. “Forget it, Kira. I’m sorry about before. If you want to stay, I’ll be glad to have you. I’ll do my best not to be such an insufferable jackass, but I can’t promise anything. Have a good night.”

  He starts off down the hall, but the weight of care crushes his shoulders to the ground. That guy carries the world on his back, and nobody knows it but me, Connor, and Ivy. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can’t let him walk away, not like this. I have to do something to help him. My hand shoots out. “Wait a minute, Isaac.”

  He looks back at me. “What is it?”

  I don’t know which way to turn. “I just want to say…I mean, I just want to tell you that you don’t have to worry about me taking care of Ivy. I’ll be on the look out for Jade from now on.”

  He nods, but that doesn’t help. “Thanks.”

  The words tumble out of me. “I won’t leave if you don’t want me to. I only want what’s best for Ivy, and that means sticking it out against all obstacles. We’re in this together…as long as you want us to be.”

  I don’t know why I said that. I just want to get the message through his head that I don’t want to leave. I made the decision to stand by him and Ivy. I won’t back down on that.

  Ever so slowly, he raises his head. His eyes burn with hidden fire, and the tortured scowl still disfigures his face. He locks his eyes on me, and his mouth twists in a grimace. “What did you just say?”

  “I said we’re in this together. I’ll stick it out, no matter what happens. I’m here as long as you want me to be.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Isaac

  I stand in the hall with my mouth open. I can’t get myself to believe the words that just came out of her mouth. “I can’t believe that.”

  Kira starts back. “Why can’t you believe it? Do you think I would lie about it?”

  “No one has ever said anything like that to me before,” I tell her. “No one has ever said they were in this together with me, not even Connor. No one wants to be part of this nightmare, and this is my life. I have to do this alone. I always have.”

  Her hand moves out toward me, but she hesitates to touch me again after what I said last time. I really did a number on her now, if she won’t even touch me. “You’re not in this alone anymore. I’m here. You can trust me.”

  I shudder all over. This can’t be happening. “I don’t believe you.”

  Her eyes pop open, and she gasps out loud. I can’t be saying these things again. I can’t be hurting her again.

  All of a sudden, she shuts her mouth, and she straightens up. “That’s okay, Isaac. I understand. I know you’ve been through a rough time. I don’t expect you to believe me. I can only show you I’m serious. I’m going to be here for you and Ivy from now on, as long as you let me and don’t fire me. You don’t have to trust me now. I haven’t earned it.”

  “You have earned it,” I tell her. “You’ve earned it more than I could ever imagine, and I do believe you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that makes me say these things.”

  She reaches out again, and this time, her hand closes around my wrist. “It’s okay. I understand. You don’t have to get it perfect every time. None of us ever does.”

  I sense her drawing closer to me. I ought to stop this before it turns into another grope-fest, but I can’t. It’s happening all by itself. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Listen, Kira. You’re with…your guy. There can’t be anything going on between us, so I don’t think I can stand you touching me like that. I want too many things, and it makes me think about…stuff I shouldn’t think
about.”

  Her hand flies off my arm like it was burned. Her face falls. “Oh. Sorry. I only wanted to…”

  “I know what you wanted, and I appreciate it,” I tell her. “I just don’t think I can stand it when we aren’t going to be together.”

  She nods, but her whole demeanor changes in a heartbeat. The energy rushes out of her like air out of a popped balloon. “Okay. I won’t do it again.”

  I look into her majestic face. The crushing reality sinks into me. She would never touch me like that again. She would never touch me again at all. Why did I just say that? Why did I just lock myself in a prison of my own making? Doesn’t she see how much I want her to touch me, even if it’s just her hand on my arm?

  She gazes back at me, and I see the answer written across her face. My words upset her. She wants to touch me. Am I really seeing this right? She wants to touch me, and while I’m standing there looking at her, she glances down at my mouth and back up to my eyes. The question lingers on her lips. She wants to kiss me. She wants everything we just did in the other room and a lot more.

  In front of my eyes, she changes all over again. The uncertainty, the distance, the brick wall holding us apart crumbles to rubble. She wants me, and I want her. Nothing but a few inches of empty air holds us apart.

  I move toward her at the same moment she moves toward me. No more talking. No more protecting. Just her lips and mine meeting somewhere in the vacuum of space.

  She tastes so much more divine than ever. I can’t get enough of those magical lips. Her tongue shoots out and touches mine on the way to meet her. We dance and dive this way and that, and our eyes never part above it all.

  I stare into her deepest being, and she doesn’t flinch. She sees me at the same time. She sees all the pain and anguish. She sees everything I’ve ever been. She sees the man I used to be before I ever met Jade. She sees me determined and strong and capable and engaged with life and the people around me. She sees me better than I’ve ever been, and her eyes erase all that cloudy stuff holding me back. I can be that way again, just from her looking at me. She makes it real.

  Her fingers tickle into the hair along the back of my neck. She’s touching me. Oh, God, she’s touching me, and not just a friendly hand on my arm. She’s stroking my skin and licking my lips and her tongue sets my blood on fire.

  Holy God, I have to have this woman if it’s the last thing I ever do in my life. My arms close around her the way they did before, and when she dissolves into my embrace this time, the terrible hotness of her passionate energy knows no bounds. If she’s thinking about Parker, she doesn’t show it.

  She’s thinking about Parker, all right. She’s thinking about him, but she’s with me. She’s giving herself to me, and this time, she knows exactly what she’s doing. She’s right there in my arms. Her bedroom is right there behind her. Do I dare?

  Before I can make up my mind what to do next, she breaks away. She takes a step back and grabs my hand. She pulls me into the room and throws the door shut behind me.

  The burning lust in her eyes sears my soul. My cock throbs between my legs. It hurts so bad I can’t stand it. She leads me into the middle of the room, and then she attacks me with both arms. She hurls herself at me, and her mouth devours my lips faster than I can keep up with.

  I maul her mouth as fast as she will let me. I stick my tongue in deep and listen to her moan in my arms. She’s all over me. Her breasts caress my chest through my shirt, and she rakes her mound over my bulging crotch.

  She drives me wild. I paw at her clothes, her hair, her cheeks. I can’t get enough of touching her. She mews under her breath when my hand closes around her breast. She shoves it up into my grasp, and her hips rock against me.

  I grab her ass and cram her into me. I poke my hard prick between her legs and grind upward. I have to get these clothes out of the way or die trying.

  She lifts her leg into my grasp the way she did in the other room, and this time, she doesn’t need me to show her what to do. She wraps her ankle around my waist and hugs me in tight against her.

  I go crazy with greed for her. I heave her off the floor into my arms again. She straps her body around me in all her rabid lust. She mauls my mouth and shoves her breasts into my neck.

  I want to hold her like that forever, but I can’t get at her in this position. I stagger forward and hit the bed. We fall over together, and my weight lands on top of her. Her mouth pops off me, and she gasps out loud.

  The next minute, she’s laughing and crab-crawling back onto the bed. She hooks one hand behind my neck and pulls me up on top of her. Her eyes smoke with lust, and her lips pout open. Her tongue flickers behind her teeth. God, she looks so incredibly hot like that!

  Her whole body seethes in passionate fury. She drags me down on top of her. I fall between her legs, and she wraps herself around me. Our mouths join in that eternal kiss that never ends. I can never tear myself away from her. I need her like I can’t believe, and she’s all mine, right here on top of the bed.

  Once I get on top of her, all hell breaks loose. My cock jams into her twitching slit. She heaves and moans up at me. Her fist tightens around my shirt, and her fingernails dig into my skin. She drives me crazy, and she’s going wild under me.

  I grapple upward to mangle her breast, and her shirt comes open in my hands. Three buttons pop, and I burrow inside. Her lacy bra wrinkles in my fingers. I tug it aside, and her angelic breast rolls out into my grasp. Holy crap, she feels so incredibly erotic!

  I can’t get my mind to function. I’m swimming in a sea of ivory fleshy softness in that heavenly orb under her shirt. She contorts under me at my touch. She moans and whines into my mouth, but she won’t stop kissing me until I dive down and take that tender little morsel between my lips.

  She yanks my hair shoving her breast into my mouth. This woman is a firecracker going off in my hands. Every little suck at her sweet nipple sends her into a flurry of twisting and writhing and squealing.

  I can’t keep my hands still. I slide one meathook up between her legs to the tight seam of her jeans. She rides down on my fingers. I would give anything to find out how wet and warm she is inside there.

  Before I can get my head clear enough to do anything, she lets go of my head to rip her pants open. I can’t believe my eyes when she unbuttons her fly and spreads the sides around her hips. She slides them down, and that perfect triangle of dark hair shows up where her thighs meet.

  I don’t know what to do, but she seizes my wrist and pulls my hand back into position, this time without her jeans in the way. My fingers disappear into a soft moist garden full of dreams and mysteries. Her petals pulse with heat, and her flesh closes around my fingers.

  She spreads her legs wide to let me in. My mind spins in a thousand directions. I’m rocketed into the stratosphere on her puffy lips all slippery under my fingers. Her fragrant perfume drifts up into my nostrils and explodes through my head.

  Her movements break my mouth away from her nipple. There’s nowhere to go but back to her mouth. I kiss her deep, but she keeps snapping off to whimper and sob every time my fingers make another exploration into her molten insides.

  This is all too much for me. I jerk away and launch up onto my knees. She cracks open under me and falls back on the bed. She undulates her beautiful self in erotic passion as I slide her pants the rest of the way off and throw them aside.

  Her white legs open before me, and I dive headfirst into that boiling cauldron of juicy goodness. In seconds, I’m up to my eyes in her wet folds. Her creamy juices close over my nose and mouth, and I fall into a luscious world of pink sugar candy.

  I tease her opening apart with my tongue and lips. I nibble her up and down. She grabs another handful of my hair and grinds into my face, but I won’t hurry. I lived without this exquisite pleasure too long, I won’t squander it now.

  I look up at her face from between her legs. She gets busy ripping her clothes the rest of the way off until she lies exposed and nak
ed on the bed. She’s a goddess, and I’m her worshiping servant. I’ll do anything to serve her needs, and right now, she needs me between her legs, filling her up and taking her to her limits.

  My fingers discover her spongy opening one more time, and I work my hand and mouth together to wind her higher. She thrashes in my clutches, and her gushing sweetness tingles over my tongue.

  All at once, she pushes me back. She sits up and lays hold of my clothes. I get up on my knees, but she’s already at work. She unbuttons my shirt, and her small quick hands slither underneath. She strokes my chest and ribs until I gasp for breath.

  She sits on the bed between my knees and gazes up into my eyes while she unbuckles my belt. Her eyes glitter with excitement, and a rosy blush spreads across her cheeks. She makes me so hard when she brushes my crotch, I want to explode on her right then.

  She unbuttons my pants and slides the zipper down over my aching bulge. My midsection contracts from the intensity of it all, but she never takes her eyes off my face. She sees me in all my agony, and she’s the one who will relieve it. She’s an angel sent from heaven to save me from the nightmare of the past years.

  She gets my pants open, and everything goes into slow motion. She locks her lust-fueled eyes on my face while she slides her hands down my ass inside my briefs. Her fingers touching my skin blow my world apart, but she won’t stop. She eases my pants down to my thighs. My briefs snap over my rigid cock, and it springs out into the open to stare her in the face.

  Her eyes glide down my chest, my stomach, to the shaft pointing at her. She caresses it with her eyes, and then her magical hand closes around me in a bone-crushing embrace. Oh, God, I can’t stand this.

  She slips her hand down my shaft, and up, and back down again. She kisses the tip and lets her tongue glide around the crest. I can’t stop spasming all over at the intoxicating sensation. She strokes my shaft while her lips surround me. Her tongue flicks around my head, and she gives it a tender suck.